Sunday, 22 April 2012

I like this blur.  It started life as very precise, intense drawing.  I'm hung up on the blogging thing.  I don't seem to be able to get down to it often enough.  And when I do I'm not sure it's my true voice anyway.  It's ironic that someone who is concerned with the visual and also with the language of the mark and expression struggles with a few words and images published on a blog.
It often feels like a diary, a reflective tool for myself, which is fine but then why would I show my diary to everyone willy nilly?!  This whole process makes me feel more vulnerable than sitting in my studio with 40 people passing through daily....  and I can pretend to be whoever I like on the blog, I can photo shop, edit, re-invent, big-up, pretend.
There is also the confusion of how far to go - I intended this to be a professional information site, yet I find myself divulging personal thoughts, feelings, ideas.  Perhaps this is because the work itself (oh yes, how could we forget the actual work itself....!)  is me.  And perhaps I am pretty blurry anyway.  Professional and personal for an artist are surely blurred yet some artists remain detached from their public presentation.  The work speaks for itself and the surrounding information merely that - information.
Which brings me to conclude that my discomfort with blogging perhaps lies in the fact that I feel less professional.  In an attempt to follow the appropriate 'professional practice' guidelines (promote, promote, promote) I have in fact become less professional.  Ha!

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Production



I'm struggling.  It's been a long, hard week or two....  time is passing quickly and there's this panic in me that I'm not using my time well.  I have sense of time being marked in some of the sketches.  They come from the trees and they are made of trees.  This cycle of things keeps emerging as does the attempt to order it.  Drawing is ordered is it not?  Nature is ordered too.  One of the visitors last week mentioned Fibonacci, I hadn't thought of it for a while so it was a gift to be reminded that there is this underlying system to the apparent randomness of things.  I get many gifts in the studio; a pencil enthusiast the other day; a wordsmith who tripped me off on a whole debate in my head about language and then back again to the language of the mark; a wonderful blind lady who taught me the 'feel' of the building.  How do I make a piece with all this?  How do I mark these ideas and conversations.... 
Found this very encouraging: 
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2012/apr/06/neuroscience-bob-dylan-genius-creativity
there's light at the end of all this tunnelling....